Contributor: Lady Mandalika

Editor: Vince Ellysabeth

Not all the stories in the Bible are easy to read. There are passages that make us pause, fall silent, or even feel uneasy. The story of Tamar in 2 Samuel 13:1–22 is one such example. In it, the Bible presents the reality of sexual violence occurring within the family – a space that should be the safest of all.

Often, texts like this are skimmed over, avoided, or deemed unsuitable for discussion within a faith community. Yet it is precisely through these difficult stories that the Bible calls on believers to dare to see life’s reality for what it is. The question is not merely what happened to Tamar, but also whether we are truly willing to hear the voices that have long been silenced.

Sexual Violence in Biblical Stories: A Reality That Is Not Concealed

The story of Tamar is not the only biblical narrative that contains sexual violence. The Bible also records the story of Dinah in Shechem (Genesis 34) and David’s relationship with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11), which many readers and interpreters understand as a relationship rife with power imbalances and coercion. The Bible does not gloss over this bitter reality.

However, problems arise when these texts are rarely discussed openly, either in church or within the family. When violence is never discussed, the Bible loses its role as a space for learning about faith that addresses the realities of believers’ lives. Yet, through these stories, the Word of God actually invites readers to understand how violence occurs, how power dynamics operate, and how victims are often left to fend for themselves.

Honest Language and Standing with the Victims

Attention to language is crucial when reading the story of Tamar. In the New Translation of the Bible, Second Edition (TB2), the title of this passage explicitly states that Amnon raped Tamar. This choice of words is no coincidence. Honest language helps readers see events for what they are.

Euphemisms often serve to obscure violence. Whether in religious texts or media reporting, sexual violence is frequently disguised with words that sound more  mild. Yet, such linguistic obfuscation can distance us from the victims’ suffering. By calling violence what it is, the biblical text reminds us that faith must not remain neutral in the face of injustice.

A Home That Should Be Safe, But Is Not

The narrative of 2 Samuel 13 unfolds within family settings: Amnon’s home, Tamar’s home, and Absalom’s home. Ironically, none of these spaces managed to provide a safe haven for Tamar. The violence took place within the home, was perpetrated by her own brother, and was ignored by those closest to her.

This portrayal feels strikingly close to today’s reality. Many cases of sexual violence occur precisely within the domestic sphere—at home, within the family environment, or within relationships that are supposed to offer protection. The Bible honestly reveals that danger does not always come from outside, but often lurks in the places we trust the most.

Those Who Speak Out and Those Who Choose to Remain Silent

The story of Tamar illustrates a range of responses to violence. Amnon used his position as an older brother and a man to impose his will. Jonadab played a role in devising a scheme without considering the consequences. David, the father and king, was angry but took no action. Absalom offered limited protection, but asked Tamar to remain silent.

Amidst all this, Tamar emerged as the figure who dared to speak out. She clearly refused, saying,  ‘No, my brother, do not rape me.’  This refusal shows that Tamar was not a passive victim. Yet her voice was drowned out by the imbalance of power and authority. This text serves as a reminder that a victim’s courage is often insufficient when the surrounding system and relationships are not on their side.

When Silence Becomes Part of the Violence

After the violence occurred, Tamar endured a further layer of suffering: expulsion, humiliation and neglect. She wailed loudly, tore her clothes and sprinkled ashes on her head – actions that demonstrated her trauma and her refusal to conceal what had happened.

Yet her family chose to remain silent. There was no justice, no healing, no concrete action. In this story, silence is not a neutral stance, but another form of violence. Silence means allowing the wound to remain open and the suffering to continue.

Hearing Tamar in the Modern Age

Tamar’s story resonates powerfully in the modern context. Many victims of sexual violence have tried to defend themselves, speak out and fight back, but have not been believed. When the perpetrator holds a certain social, intellectual or moral standing, double standards often arise. The victim is doubted, whilst the perpetrator is protected.

Reading the Bible from the victim’s perspective helps the congregation to be more sensitive to this reality. Without the courage to discuss violence honestly—whether within the church, the family or society—efforts at prevention and healing will always be hampered.

Conclusion

The story of Tamar invites believers not only to read the Bible for comfort, but also for the sake of honesty and repentance. God’s Word speaks not only through stories of victory, but also through the cries of those who are wounded—cries that are often ignored, even within the faith community.

There are still many other ‘Tamars’ around us, those who are struggling to be heard and restored. The question for us is: are we willing to be a faith community that is prepared to listen, learn, and create a safe space for them? Or do we choose to remain silent to preserve a false sense of comfort and order?

Tamar’s story ultimately leads us to a question that is not easy, but one we must continue to grapple with together. To what extent are we genuinely taking preventative measures to stop sexual violence? How can we talk about prevention if we ourselves are reluctant to discuss this reality honestly and openly, and never think together about the concrete steps that need to be taken?

Reading the Bible from the victim’s perspective, as in 2 Samuel 13, is an important first step. In today’s public sphere, we see how a young woman has written about her experience of violence as a path to healing – a sign that victims’ voices often emerge precisely because silence has been allowed to persist for too long. The story of Tamar invites us to have the courage to listen and to no longer allow silence to become part of the violence itself.

This article is adapted from Bincang Alkitab. Watch the full video version on LAI’s YouTube channel:  https://youtu.be/sCvHZWeVaEg?si=6mylhyUHCYTvgWMX