Parenting Articles

In a marriage, two individuals with different sensibilities, backgrounds and habits are brought together under one roof. With such intense closeness, friction and emotional hurt—whether intentional or not—are almost certainly inevitable. Often, the greatest challenge in a marriage is not how to avoid mistakes, but how we respond when they do occur.

Do we choose to harbour a grudge, or are we willing to extend genuine forgiveness?

Learning to Forgive Through Joseph’s Perspective

The story of Joseph and his brothers in Genesis 50:16–17 (TB2) offers us a profound reflection on the essence of true forgiveness. Imagine Joseph’s feelings: he was betrayed, cast out and sold by his own brothers.

Yet, many years later, when the wheel of life had turned and Joseph held full authority in Egypt to exact revenge, he chose a different path. When his brothers came to Egypt in search of grain, Joseph forgave their wrongdoing and helped them by providing enough grain for their entire extended family. He even eventually invited his family to settle in Egypt.

When their father Jacob died, Joseph wept bitterly upon realising that his brothers were still consumed by guilt and fear of Joseph’s revenge following Jacob’s passing. They even pleaded for mercy by invoking their late father’s name, as they felt too shy and ashamed to face him directly. They had not yet fully trusted the sincerity of Joseph’s heart.

However, what was Joseph’s legendary response? In Genesis 50:20 (TB2), he said:

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, to bring about what is happening now—the saving of many lives.”

Joseph was able to forgive because he saw evil from God’s perspective. He understood perfectly well that nothing happens without His permission, and that God is able to allow bad things to happen in order to bring about good for His people. It was this divine perspective that enabled Joseph to break the cycle of vengeance.