Bible Talk | Tri Harmadji, Ph.D.
The phenomenon of choosing not to have children (childfree) has become an increasingly hot issue in modern socio-cultural discourse. This choice often sparks pros and cons, both within the general public and within the church community. On the one hand, many couples still crave the presence of children as a gift of life. On the other hand, there are also many individuals or couples who consciously decide not to have children. The decision is taken not because of biological or economic inability, but as a form of life choice. So, how should Christians view this reality? Is having children a personal choice, a sacred calling, or even a divine command?
The Changing View of Children: From Communal to Individual
In the societies of biblical times, children were seen as divine blessings and markers of family glory. Barrenness was considered a curse (see 1 Samuel 1; Genesis 30), while fertility symbolized participation in God's promise. Children were communal assets, not only belonging to the nuclear family but part of the existence of the tribe, the nation, and the continuity of God's chosen people.
However, since the 19th and 20th centuries, there have been fundamental changes in the social structure and philosophy of life. Some of the contributing factors are:
- Individualism
The emergence of the idea of individual freedom that allows one to make life decisions without communal pressure. In this framework, children are no longer seen as an obligation for every couple, but rather a subject of choice. - Development of contraceptive technology
These advancements allowed control over reproduction and timing of pregnancy, which was previously not possible. - Emancipation of women
The modern feminist movement challenged the traditional role of women as ‘reproductive organs’, and encouraged women to realize a self-identity beyond the biological function of motherhood. - Changes in economic and social structure
From agrarian to industrial and urban societies, children are no longer seen as labor or a source of family economy, but as a financial burden, especially due to increased needs for education, health, and quality of life.
Children in Biblical Perspective: Call or Command?
“God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill and subdue the earth, and have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth!" (Genesis 1:28).
This verse is often cited as the basis for the command to have children. However, a careful theological approach needs to distinguish between command, call, and blessing. There are two important things that can be discerned from the text:
- The commandment contained in the blessing
The commandment to be fruitful does not stand alone as a legalistic obligation, but rather as the content of the blessing of God. This signifies that the presence of children is not meant as a burden or obligation that ultimately makes man miserable, but as man's participation in the project of creation and the care of creation. - Provisionary responsibility
God first provided a livable world before humans were called to procreate. Thus, the responsibility to have children is not only a matter of obedience, but also a matter of readiness to create a ‘garden of Eden’, that is, a living space that is decent, safe, and supportive of children's growth.
Between Ethical Choices and Spiritual Callings
Does this mean that every Christian couple should have children? The answer is not that simple. In the New Testament, there is no explicit requirement to have children as a condition of obedience to God. Paul even commends celibacy in 1 Corinthians 7 as a form of special devotion to God, without negating the value of family and children. However, rejecting the presence of children a priori and egoistically without moral basis and spiritual responsibility, certainly needs to be criticized. For basically, the Bible teaches that life, including birth, is part of God's mission in this world.
If a person or couple decides to accept a child as a gift, then the next responsibility is to create a "garden of Eden" for the child's growth. It is not just about a luxurious place, but a space that provides basic needs (such as food, shelter, and love), as well as providing spiritual and moral assistance to the child. As God is present in the company of human beings, so parents need to provide time, attention, and active involvement in the growth process of their children.
Having children in the light of the Christian faith is not simply a matter of choice or necessity, but a calling, a divine invitation to open our hearts to the gift of life and welcome it with mature responsibility.
In an increasingly complex world, this decision demands more than rational calculation; it requires clear spiritual reflection and sensitivity to God's will. However, the church is also called to be wise and understanding: not everyone receives the same call. Thus, the church should be an inclusive and loving space, not a place of judgment, but rather a community that accompanies each person to be faithful to their own calling in life, according to their God-given context and capacity. Ultimately, whether one chooses to have children or not, what matters most is faithfulness to the God who created life and calls every human being to participate in His work of love in an authentic, loving and responsible way. For unlike other creatures who are driven solely by instinct, humans are given the gift of reason to consider: not just whether we want to have children, but whether we have prepared a ‘garden of Eden’ worthy of them. A living space that welcomes them not with selfishness, but with love and true readiness.
"Are we still faithful to God, even though our lives are not like the common scenario of an ideal family?"
.
Let's watch it at this link
